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Face is a social concept in Asian countries. And Vietnam is an Asian country. Face is a drug. Sometimes it brings you down, and sometimes it gets you so high.
In Vietnam, keeping face has leaped to the next stage. It doesn’t mean saving face to each other no more. It now means “I try to keep my face, and I don’t care about yours.” They don’t mind downgrading other people. “It’s not my fault. It’s theirs.” Saying sorry isn’t popular in Vietnamese culture. Don’t expect anyone to apologize to you sincerely, unless they’re forced to.
It applies to working style, too. They have a plan. They conduct it. They find out it’s not working. They fix it. They find out it’s not working. They have a new plan. They will never admit that they are wrong from the beginning.
Of course, in an argument, nobody likes to be in the lose side. They don’t even know of a win-win outcome. In the end, they try to settle for a win-lose situation which actually turns out to be lose-lose . “You’re right. I’m left.”
In Vietnam tradition, keeping face for the family is as important. Children are forced to study hard; women are forced to do the housework; spouses are reluctant to stay with their unfaithful partners; and so on. In short, Vietnamese people don’t live their lives, they live the lives their families lead them to. Sometimes, when life’s too tough, they try to avoid it by traveling alone.
Don’t try to compete socially with one of these people. You won’t defeat them.
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