Stuff Vietnamese people like

Vietnamese people like to take photos. They have polarized into two groups: photojournalist wannabes and nude model wannabes.

Vietnamese photojournalist wannabes try to own semi-professional digital cameras so that they could prove to others they are taking the art of photography seriously. These people sometimes travel alone to the countryside to find picturesque sceneries. You will find these so-called scenery photos featuring at least a person. Vietnamese people like jumping in the photo because they think they will make the photo more beautiful. But often, when these photographers can’t leave the city, you will easily find them on the middle of the road taking photos of a dead rat or a traffic jam from many angles.

Vietnamese nude model wannabes outnumber the photojournalist group, because they don’t need to buy expensive cameras. They have to arrange an appointment with photographers (or the above-mentioned photojournalist wannabes). Even if they are willing to pose nude for free, they will need to queue up a long line in front of the studios. Because they’re desperate to keep up with the fashion trend, these people usually take photos of themselves, with their cellphones or webcams. It will save their time, and even their money (yes, sometimes they have to pay for their own nude photos taken).

If you happen to see a photo collection of a Vietnamese acquaintance, give good comments on the artful work (even if it’s not close to art) and ask her/him the circumstances behind those photos. You’ll have a bunch of stories to tell your friends later.

Vietnamese people like to pimp their ride, be it a car, motorcycle, e-bike, bicycle, or helmet. They think that people will easily recognize them by their own fashion because they’re like ninjas on the street. The more expensive a bike is, the more colorful it looks.

If you see a Vietnamese with a bike like the one in the picture, don’t ask them if they are a fan of MotoGP or anything. It’s a recipe for disaster and shame. Vietnamese people aren’t ready for humiliation yet, because 9 out of 10 people don’t know what 46 means, who Valentino Rossi is, or what you are talking about.

Remember that a helmet is a thing for Vietnamese people to prove they’re fashionable. They wear anything that looks like a helmet the way they like it. In Vietnam, it has never been and will never be a form of protective gear worn on the head to protect it from injuries. In the first place, how could riding as slow as 20-30km/h possibly bring any damage to the head?

That fashion, Vietnamese style, peaks fast and is now incorporated into other things like cellphones, laptops, anything they can stick a decal on. Don’t tell them their fashion makes your eyes bleed. They don’t feel hot in the jacket under 32 degrees centigrade. They feel safe in that winter wear. If you’re a man, don’t tell a girl that her face mask and ankle-high skin socks wreck her whole look. She’s keeping her beauty for you.

There’s a joke that Vietnam only has two seasons in a year: hot and hotter. The sun specifically favors this country. That’s why Vietnamese people have to be fully-equipped when going out.

You might run into acquaintances on the street, but you’ll never know. Don’t bother to call them out because it’s a high chance you make a mistake. Almost everybody looks familiar with the same outfit. Old or young, beautiful or not, you will find them in sunglasses, face masks, ankle high skin socks, long gloves, and long sleeve shirts or jackets, along with their funky helmets and bikes.

While Westerners can’t help getting more sun, Vietnamese people avoid sunlight as much as possible. If it’s noon time and you wear no jacket, people will ask where it is, as if you always got one. Getting darker is a nightmare for Vietnamese people. So, no matter where they go, they will not be going to anywhere—they will only be running from, the sun.

Don’t tell Vietnamese people that their skin is already very dark or that they don’t need to wear those ridiculous things. It’s like you are insulting them. Vietnamese people hate to lose face, especially to a foreigner.

In order to be liked by Vietnamese people, you should wear things on the street like they do, starting with a face mask. In big cities like Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh city, the air is badly polluted. You sure will need a mask. If you don’t have one, they will think that you’re crazy.

You’re riding in the middle of a street in Vietnam and hearing a loud hooter from behind, you rapidly change the line and find out it is from neither a bus nor a car. Wonder how a motorbike that small could produce so much noise? Because Vietnamese people have modified the original horn with a truck hooter. And that’s just 1 of 7 types of horning in Vietnam that a foreigner has categorized before.

Making noise is as important as breathing in Vietnam. Vietnamese people try their best to prove that the human being is the only creature that has language. “Silence is golden, but noise is platinum.”

On airplanes where the noise is loud enough, they try to shout, yell, scream, cry as loud as possible. As if they were on the roller-coaster. Flying is never that fun anywhere else in the world!

Vietnamese people don’t aware that noise is a kind of pollution. In order to keep face, they don’t like to admit that they are wrong. When there’s an accident, often you will see people stop their bikes to find out who has to compensate by quarreling, or even fighting.

Vietnamese people break things at home when they have a row. But if the matter is not yet resolved, they will bring it to the neighborhood by yelling as loud as possible, even if it’s 11 PM or midnight.

Don’t complain when your neighbors suddenly decide to sing karaoke at midnight. You’d better sleep off your tiredness somewhere else.