Stuff Vietnamese people like

Vietnamese people like to pimp their ride, be it a car, motorcycle, e-bike, bicycle, or helmet. They think that people will easily recognize them by their own fashion because they’re like ninjas on the street. The more expensive a bike is, the more colorful it looks.

If you see a Vietnamese with a bike like the one in the picture, don’t ask them if they are a fan of MotoGP or anything. It’s a recipe for disaster and shame. Vietnamese people aren’t ready for humiliation yet, because 9 out of 10 people don’t know what 46 means, who Valentino Rossi is, or what you are talking about.

Remember that a helmet is a thing for Vietnamese people to prove they’re fashionable. They wear anything that looks like a helmet the way they like it. In Vietnam, it has never been and will never be a form of protective gear worn on the head to protect it from injuries. In the first place, how could riding as slow as 20-30km/h possibly bring any damage to the head?

That fashion, Vietnamese style, peaks fast and is now incorporated into other things like cellphones, laptops, anything they can stick a decal on. Don’t tell them their fashion makes your eyes bleed. They don’t feel hot in the jacket under 32 degrees centigrade. They feel safe in that winter wear. If you’re a man, don’t tell a girl that her face mask and ankle-high skin socks wreck her whole look. She’s keeping her beauty for you.

There’s a joke that Vietnam only has two seasons in a year: hot and hotter. The sun specifically favors this country. That’s why Vietnamese people have to be fully-equipped when going out.

You might run into acquaintances on the street, but you’ll never know. Don’t bother to call them out because it’s a high chance you make a mistake. Almost everybody looks familiar with the same outfit. Old or young, beautiful or not, you will find them in sunglasses, face masks, ankle high skin socks, long gloves, and long sleeve shirts or jackets, along with their funky helmets and bikes.

While Westerners can’t help getting more sun, Vietnamese people avoid sunlight as much as possible. If it’s noon time and you wear no jacket, people will ask where it is, as if you always got one. Getting darker is a nightmare for Vietnamese people. So, no matter where they go, they will not be going to anywhere—they will only be running from, the sun.

Don’t tell Vietnamese people that their skin is already very dark or that they don’t need to wear those ridiculous things. It’s like you are insulting them. Vietnamese people hate to lose face, especially to a foreigner.

In order to be liked by Vietnamese people, you should wear things on the street like they do, starting with a face mask. In big cities like Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh city, the air is badly polluted. You sure will need a mask. If you don’t have one, they will think that you’re crazy.

Vietnamese people like white people, apparently because they always wanna have fairer skin. If you happen to speak English, they will like you more, even if you’re from Africa. Vietnamese people like white people speaking Vietnamese even more. So, speaking a little Vietnamese or proving that you wanna learn Vietnamese is a plus. Joe Ruelle became famous overnight, and you could be, too.

Most Vietnamese people like being seen with a white person, though there will be some rumors later (just in case it’s a white guy with a Vietnamese girl). If you’re white, you’ll surely be introduced to their friends and invited to parties.

If you’re a white guy and wanna seduce a girl, walk into a room and crook a finger. Actually, you have to do nothing at all but be there, and girls will be drawn to you. Unfortunately, Vietnamese guys are very different from girls in this regard. But don’t think that marrying a Vietnamese girl is easy, because not many of those who run after you stand a chance of winning over prejudice.

Make friend with a Vietnamese person and you’ll suddenly have a group of Vietnamese people surrounding you. Be prepared to attend lots of parties, events, “interviews” of all sorts, because here you’ll be treated like a Hollywood celebrity. However, Vietnamese people won’t like much your rejections to accompany them, because they’ll lose an opportunity to show themselves off and lose face with their friends.