Stuff Vietnamese people like

Vietnamese people like to pimp their ride, be it a car, motorcycle, e-bike, bicycle, or helmet. They think that people will easily recognize them by their own fashion because they’re like ninjas on the street. The more expensive a bike is, the more colorful it looks.

If you see a Vietnamese with a bike like the one in the picture, don’t ask them if they are a fan of MotoGP or anything. It’s a recipe for disaster and shame. Vietnamese people aren’t ready for humiliation yet, because 9 out of 10 people don’t know what 46 means, who Valentino Rossi is, or what you are talking about.

Remember that a helmet is a thing for Vietnamese people to prove they’re fashionable. They wear anything that looks like a helmet the way they like it. In Vietnam, it has never been and will never be a form of protective gear worn on the head to protect it from injuries. In the first place, how could riding as slow as 20-30km/h possibly bring any damage to the head?

That fashion, Vietnamese style, peaks fast and is now incorporated into other things like cellphones, laptops, anything they can stick a decal on. Don’t tell them their fashion makes your eyes bleed. They don’t feel hot in the jacket under 32 degrees centigrade. They feel safe in that winter wear. If you’re a man, don’t tell a girl that her face mask and ankle-high skin socks wreck her whole look. She’s keeping her beauty for you.

Vietnamese people love to sing. At least once in their lives, they have grabbed a mic and sung a song. Most people choose a karaoke club where they can monopolize the audience’s attention.

Of course, singing karaoke in the Vietnamese way is different. People sit still in the sofa, choose a heartbroken song (Don’t worry, most Vietnamese songs are about broken hearts), sing along the lyrics, and wait for the score. The score is an important factor. In some clubs, they even give awards to those who score 100 for a song.

That’s the reason why many Vietnamese buy DVD midi karaoke players to practice singing at home, though they will bother their neighbors a great deal. Another reason is that they will be embarrassed if the score is too low. In their opinion, scoring low means singing bad.

A foreigner may recognize a song by the singer or the band who’s made it famous. In Vietnam, a songwriter will be honored if her/his songs are sung by many singers, plus karaoke singers.

If you’re invited to a karaoke club, pick a strange song most people don’t know of, so if you score low, nobody will comment on it. If you’re confident, pick a fun song with fast rhythm. If you don’t sing at all, ask somebody to duet a song and murmur when she/he actually sings for you. Don’t decline to sing. It’s rude.

If you’re in Vietnam, better practice singing now.

There’s a joke that Vietnam only has two seasons in a year: hot and hotter. The sun specifically favors this country. That’s why Vietnamese people have to be fully-equipped when going out.

You might run into acquaintances on the street, but you’ll never know. Don’t bother to call them out because it’s a high chance you make a mistake. Almost everybody looks familiar with the same outfit. Old or young, beautiful or not, you will find them in sunglasses, face masks, ankle high skin socks, long gloves, and long sleeve shirts or jackets, along with their funky helmets and bikes.

While Westerners can’t help getting more sun, Vietnamese people avoid sunlight as much as possible. If it’s noon time and you wear no jacket, people will ask where it is, as if you always got one. Getting darker is a nightmare for Vietnamese people. So, no matter where they go, they will not be going to anywhere—they will only be running from, the sun.

Don’t tell Vietnamese people that their skin is already very dark or that they don’t need to wear those ridiculous things. It’s like you are insulting them. Vietnamese people hate to lose face, especially to a foreigner.

In order to be liked by Vietnamese people, you should wear things on the street like they do, starting with a face mask. In big cities like Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh city, the air is badly polluted. You sure will need a mask. If you don’t have one, they will think that you’re crazy.

Vietnamese people are prejudicial for a reason. Prejudice is passed by tradition from one generation to another, by the means of Vietnamese language. You have to address Vietnamese people by personal substitutes. There are many of them, so, to do it right, you must ask or guess that person’s age and marital status. In English, starting a conversation with “I” and “you” is much simpler. In Vietnam, you need to judge.

Such questions like “How old are you?”, “Are you married?”, “How much is your salary?” are not sensitive ones. Avoiding answer them will hurt Vietnamese people a lot. Also, Vietnamese people like using the words “good person”, “bad person.” When you want to know about a person and ask a friend, you will hear her/him say, “She’s a good daughter” or “He’s a bad student.”

“How much does it cost?” is popular, too. Your neighbors will wanna know if your new motorcycle is expensive or not. Be sure that you give them a higher price, so they will give you a discourse on where to buy cheaper things. They’re a good source of information about Vietnam.

Vietnamese people are so stubbornly determined to dwell on negatives. When a white guy’s holding a Vietnamese girl’s hand on the street, Vietnamese people will cast them a nasty look. Most people will think this girl is a whore or is digging the guy’s money (especially when he’s old enough to be her father). Hardly will you find a Vietnamese person who thinks this white guy is an asshole, and you know why. Sometimes, they think it out loud to make the girl lose her face.

If you’re the target of rumors due to prejudice, remember “Ignorance is bliss.”

In Vietnam, the Academy Awards is known as the Oscars. It’s an important event here because people like American movies. While the Vietnamese film industry lacks a movie that is worth watching, Vietnamese people won’t have to complain much, because they can enjoy American movies at the cinema for as cheap as $1.5-3.5.

Academy Awards is the topic for every February, when the Tet holidays are over. Unlike Grammy Awards which nominations are not new, most of the movies nominated by AMPAS haven’t reached the Vietnamese audience yet. That’s why Vietnamese people will do anything, pay any price (this is not quite true), resort to any form (that means they download them in the office), just to watch those movies before the Oscars night. They will recommend and share those movies to others who haven’t watched them yet, and win the race.

Unlike Westerners, Vietnamese people don’t throw any Oscar party where people get involve in an Oscar pool. Somehow, they stick to their imaginative winner list, and if any in this list didn’t win, they would blame the Academy for bad judgment.

Every year, the awards history is mentioned again on newspapers. How many Vietnamese movies have been nominated for Best Foreign Language Film? Ask them, and they’ll be very embarrassed. Don’t blame Vietnamese people for their ignorance with Vietnamese movies, they are not xenophiles, they are learning English through American movies.